What Therapists Know About Boundaries That Every Content Creator Needs to Hear

How I use my clinical training to navigate sharing my kids’ stories online

By Rhonda Estling, LMFT  |  Therapist & ADHD Coachs

This morning, on the drive to school, I played the first episode of my podcast for my kids. I asked them to tell me whether the story I told about one of them felt okay. Whether they were comfortable with it being out there.

It was not until I was halfway to the office that I realized what I had actually been doing. I was running the same boundary assessment I use as a therapist in session. The same framework I have been trained in for years, applied to a situation I had not thought of as clinical at all.

The conversation about children and content creation is everywhere right now, and it should be. There are real concerns about exploitation, consent, and the long-term impact of putting kids on the internet. But what I have noticed is that most of the dialogue is framed in black and white terms. Either you never show your kids, or you are doing something wrong.

I do not think it is that simple. And my training as a therapist is the reason I think that.

The Clinical Framework: Don’t Do This in a Bubble

In clinical training, therapists spend a significant amount of time on self-disclosure. How much of your own life do you share with clients? When is it appropriate? When does it cross a line? These are not easy questions, and there is no universal answer.

What we are taught, consistently, is this: do not figure it out alone. Seek consultation. Talk to colleagues. Bring the issue into supervision. Discuss it transparently with the people affected. The worst thing you can do is try to assess your own boundaries in a vacuum, because you cannot see your own blind spots.

This is true for therapists. It is also true for content creators. The moment we start making decisions about other people’s stories, especially our children’s, without outside input, we are in dangerous territory.

Not because we are bad people. Because we are human. We have our own motivations, our own creative momentum, our own needs that can quietly override our judgment. That is not a moral failing. It is a fact about how people work, and therapists are trained to account for it.

Your Story or Their Story?

I recently watched a video from Mom Chats on TikTok that raised a question I thought was a really useful framework: are you telling your story, or your child’s story?

For me, my daughter’s ADHD journey is deeply connected to my own. Her experience is part of what set me on the path I am on now, building a community for women with ADHD. I cannot fully tell my story without her being part of it. But that does not mean her story is mine to tell however I want.

The distinction matters because it forces you to think about who benefits from the telling. If the purpose of sharing is to connect with other parents, to normalize the experience, to build something that helps people, that is one thing. If it starts tipping toward content for content’s sake, or if the child becomes the subject rather than a part of the context, that is a different conversation.

What I Actually Did This Morning

Here is what the boundary work looked like in practice. I have been working on launching my podcast, and the introduction episode includes a story about one of my kids. Before I released it, I played it for both of them in the car.

I asked: does this feel okay? Are you comfortable with me sharing this? And then I set a standing ground rule. If they ever hear something I have put out there and they are not comfortable with it, they can come to me. If it has already been published, I will pull it. I will edit it. I will take it down. No questions, no pushback.

That conversation is not a one-time checkbox. It is an ongoing practice, just like consultation is an ongoing practice in therapy. You do not have one conversation about boundaries and then stop thinking about it.

The Limits of Consent When You’re the Parent

I want to be honest about something that complicates this. My kids are old enough to have a conversation about what I share. They were excited about the podcast. My daughter was laughing at the stories. But being old enough to have the conversation is not the same as being old enough to fully understand what consent means in this context.

They cannot predict what will matter to them in five or ten years. They do not fully grasp the permanence of the internet or the way a story can be taken out of context by strangers. So while I value their input and I take it seriously, I also hold veto power. And that veto is going to lean conservative.

If I am unsure whether something might feel like a boundary violation for them down the road, I am going to err on the side of not sharing it. Even if they say it is fine right now. Because part of my job as their parent is to protect them from decisions they are not fully equipped to make yet.

Why This Is Not Black and White

The online conversation about kids and content creation tends to collapse into two positions. Never show your kids. Or, kids have a right to participate and even benefit financially. Both of these positions contain something true. Neither of them is a complete answer.

Boundaries are never black and white. Ask any therapist. What is appropriate depends on the person, the relationship, the context, the power dynamics, and a dozen other factors that shift over time. That is not a dodge. That is actually how this works.

What matters is the process. Are you having the conversations? Are you seeking outside perspective? Are you checking in regularly, not just once? Are you willing to pull something if it turns out you got it wrong? If the answer to those questions is yes, you are already doing the protective work. You are not going to accidentally exploit someone if you are constantly and transparently assessing your own decisions.

Where I Land Right Now

For the time being, you will not see my kids on camera. That is a boundary I have set. They have asked to be on camera, and I am not sure that will happen, at least not yet. My ADHD community and the content I create are closely tied to my experience as a parent, but I can share that experience without putting my children in front of an audience.

This will keep evolving. That is the whole point. The framework is not meant to produce one permanent answer. It is meant to keep you honest, keep you checking in, and keep you connected to the people whose stories overlap with yours.

If you are a creator navigating this, I would encourage you to borrow from the clinical world. Do not do this in a bubble. Talk to other creators. Talk to your kids if they are old enough. Talk to someone you trust who is not emotionally invested in your content. And build in a standing rule that gives your kids a voice, even a retroactive one.

There is no perfect answer. But there is a responsible process. And I think that is enough.

I would love to hear how you are navigating this. What boundaries have you set? What conversations have helped you? Leave a comment or reach out directly. This needs to be a dialogue, not a monologue.